Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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