"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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