Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
