Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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