He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize