The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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