He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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