She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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