wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize