Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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