I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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