You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I have fence marks all over my body
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