she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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