i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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