fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
