I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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