No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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