Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Sext me about skeletons
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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