Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
