i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
