On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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