I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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