if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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