imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
