I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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