the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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