the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
