Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
