these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
