as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm at about main and main street
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
