My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
