i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I think people are normalizing furries
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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