just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
