the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
