The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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