I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
