She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You pole danced in your parka.
i've created a new STD.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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