"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
