Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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