I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
