There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
