I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
