I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
