Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
