Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
