you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
