Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
