thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I think my moral compass just broke
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
