just survived the first fart of the relationship.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
