Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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