I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
