Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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