physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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