Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
