I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
