We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
