After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
