You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
