4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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