So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
