allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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