let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
