I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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