One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
