I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
