do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
