You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
