Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I didn't notice because vodka
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
